Dear diary, journal, dammit, Journal! Fine ya know what? Diary. There. I keep a diary. That's nothing to be ashamed of! So all the people that don't like me, that one person, yeah, go ahead laugh your butt off! HAHAHA! earthbound-fan keeps a diary, let's all have a big laugh!,

Well, it's another great day, the sun is shining, it's glorious. With the inclusion of my first ever disneyfan-fan-fiction my ever-increasing DA fanbase has basically quadrupled in size! I've even had people stop me in the street! Ok, so maybe they were just asking directions, I know, deep inside, that they just wanted to speak to me...the man. The myth. The Legend. I'd give a shout-out to all my new DA friends, but it's much too many to type. So I'm gonna give one mega-ultra-polyunsaturated shout-out to cover all bases...

YO FRIENDS!!!1

There, it's all you guys. *wipes away tear. It's all you.

But even though I'm the next Saturday night thing. There's still a couple of people that actually don't like yours truly! The first is, naturally, coppertopdragon. I fully expected ol' copperflop to stand down, acknowledge his better, and leave me to the spoils. But he's willing to stand and fight for his woman! Who...thinks of him as a brother. Hey, I can respect that. I challenged him to a duel, and he kindly accepted with a death threat. Even with his numerous short-comings, he still stands up for disneygirl, occasionally, so he's not all bad. He has his uses.

Next enemy on the list is....li'lfire-fly? What? I can't be reading this right....Nope, it really does say li'lfire-fly. li'lfire-fly is a 15 year old girl who, when she's not out on her bike or playing with dolls, is an artitste who also fashions herself as a kind of literary genius. Normally, I'm greeted by these youngsters with cries of "KAWAII-DESU NE!!!!" so this is unusual for me. It all started when I told disneygirl that I was glad that kellyringwart, or whatever her name is, was banned because of how mean she was to her. See, I was merely providing some friendly support to a girl who is getting attacked on all sides. Enter internet-troll li'lfirefly. li'lfire-fly also said some mean things to disneygirl which are featured on the ED article. She also believes that disneygirl is responsible for getting kellyringnose banned! When that had nothing to do with it! So, she blindly attacks anyone that tries to support disney girl.

One good thing about this is that she can't attack disneygirl and me at the same time, so it's like I'm taking the bullets for disneygirl. Man, I am chivalrous! I am laying my proverbial jacket over the mud so disneygirl can delicately traipse across. I am such a gentleman. I am a great person! li'lfire-fly revealed that she hates copperflop too, so she can't be all bad.

Thanks for listening, journal, umm, diary, whatever you are. I'll keep you posted on how things turn out. Next journal-entry...Chocolate Rain-Man! An african-american songstress with assburpers.

Captains log,

Well, today has been fairly lulz-free, except for the fact that I was, briefly, on Encyclopedia Dramatica's disneyfan01 page! So whoever wrote that section about me...thanks! And sorry that it was taken down so quickly, but I did get to read it. However, since EDiots took it down I hereby proclaim THEM to be enemies of the lulz! Heh, take that!

In other news, disneygirl has taken down her lengthy journal entry about how the ED article is wrong. One can only stop and wonder, why would she put so much effort into it if she was only going to take it down in less than 24 hours? Well, friends, that is the pure genius of disneygirl. One of the saddest aspects of her taking the journal entry down is the fact that I probably had like 50 comments on there including my honest-to-goodness proposal of marriage to her and my brilliant, divinely inspired...disneyfan-fan-fiction!! Say that 5 times fast! LOL j/k. BUT, the good news is, I had it backed up. I submit for your lulzy pleasure, my disneyfan-fan-fiction...


Hey everyone, I came up with this fantasy right now. Ahem, I'll write it out like a skit.

Int. Day - Disney Studios

earthbound-fan, a high ranking executive sits at his desk in an expensive Italian suit.

disneygirl enters, looking shy and nervous. She is wearing a blue gown, like in her art.

EARTHBOUND-FAN
So, I've heard your quite the artitste, and quite a disneyfan as well.

DISNEYGIRL

(blushes)
Yes, it's been my lifelong dream.

EARTHBOUND-FAN
Well, let's take a look at what you got.

disneygirl, shyly takes out her folder of her drawing samples.

EARTHBOUND-FAN
No, no, no. I didn't mean that...

disneygirl looks up at him...

LATER...

disney girl slowly removes her blue gown. earthbound-fan looks at her like a cyborg-bear in heat.

DISNEYGIRL
I...I haven't had too much experience with this.

EARTHBOUND-FAN
I know, I read your profile.

disneygirl is just about to lie down on the desk when...coppertopdragon appears!

COPPERTOPDRAGON
Cease and desist! You're no highranking disney exeutive! You're that no good, womanizing, earthbound-fan!

EARTHBOUND-FAN
Drat! Foiled again.

COPPERTOPDRAGON
Come, my lady, and let us desert this faux-office post-with!

DISNEYFAN
I...I can't go with you, coppertopdragon.

COPPERTOPDRAGON
My lady, don't thou toyest with me so!

DISNEYFAN
The truth is...I think of you as a brother...(a brother, a brother...)

The sound of her last words echoes in his mind.

earthbound-fan gets a devious look on his face!

LATER…

Coppertopdragon is suspended over a cauldron of boiling oil by his left leg. Earthbound-fan stands above him laughing!

EARTHBOUND-FAN

Recant! For you have sinned against the church!

COPPERTOPDRAGON

I know not of what thou speakest!

EARTHBOUND-FAN

Oh stop being so melodramatic!

COPPERTOPDRAGON

What makes you think disneygirl will ever fall in love with you! At least I’m like a brother to her, you’re like a stranger!

EARTHBOUND-FAN

(singing quietly)
Strangers in the night, exchanging glances…

COPPERTOPDRAGON

And what’s more, thou hast no idea where thou is going with this skit!
A terrified look comes across earthbound fan’s face….

Earthbound-fan stands stunned.

EARTHBOUND-FAN

You’re right. I have no idea where I’m going with this…

DISNEYGIRL

But I do!

Both men look over to see Disneygirl, standing there in all her girlish glory.

COPPERTOPDRAGON

My lady! Didst thou come to save me? Her knight in shining armor?

DISNEYGIRL

Nope, I came to do this!

She throws a dagger at the rope that’s suspending coppertopdragon above the oil. The rope is severed and coppertopdragon plummets into the oil. All we hear is a splash and some horrible screams.

DISNEYGIRL

You wanted to know how the skit ends?

EARTHBOUND-FAN

I think we both know how it ends…

They tenderly embrace, and they’re lips are drawn together almost magnetically.

But just as they are about to kiss…

Peewee Herman jumps in between them ruining the moment!

PEEWEE HERMAN

Hah! Hah! I don’t make dogs, I just train em!

THE END…?

LOL! Is that lulzy or what? If it's possible to put it up in my gallery or whatever I'll do that. I think I've seen a few people have literature up on this site. I hope one day to have my disneyfan-fan-fiction taught in high school English classes.

Also, I bought disneygirl her first gift from me today. And *ahem, I'm still waiting for a thank you!

End Captains log. Next journal entry...Assburglers... worse than Scientology.

Dear journal,

I got little sleep last night, as thoughts of disneygirl running through my bed...I mean thoughts of disneygirl ran through my head. I was getting ready to play earthbound, but decided to catch you up. It was a late nighter last night, but eventually the lulz died down. There's still a few trolls occasionally popping up, and disneygirl is nowhere to be found. OHYEAH! I proposed to disneygirl yesterday...I didn't get a no!!! I think the relationship is coming along quite well...

Well, one thing stands in my way of unrequited bliss and passion...the evil, dreadful, acne-ridden mushed up face of coppertopdragon!!! LOL j/k. coppertoptothebammies is a great guy and, he totally for realz knows kung fu and a friend of a friend totally did see him take on 20 armed thugs!!! Or 4 third-graders, the jury's still out. Even though he totally gave me a death threat yesterday, (I'm not making this up!) I think he's an alright guy. He invited me over to play Mario Kart Wii today. I can't make it because I don't live in the FL. area.

Actually, I'm only joking about him standing in my way. Because, actually he has not now, has never had, and never will have a chance with disneygirl. I've seen situations like his countless times, a one-sided relationship where a person is madly in love with a person. I've even been in both positions myself of a relationship like this myself, I've been the one loved and the one who loved. It never works out. Ever. Usually though, the one loved will lead the person on as a way to have someone to go to and fall back on for emotional support. It also helps boost their self-esteem, like, "Hey, I've got this person who's madly in love with me, I'm doing alright for myself."

coppertopdragon, won't listen to me. I don't blame him. I wouldn't either. But that is only to his own personal detriment. One day, probably the day when disneygirl does fall in love with someone(please let it be me!) he's going to go whining and crying to her, "I thought we were in love, blah blah blah" and she's going to tell him that they never were and that she told him countless times, he just decided not to listen. Anyone reading this that has had experience in personal relationships knows I'm right, it's a hard truth.

Now, if you're kindly excuse me, oh dearest journal of mine. I've got some Earthbound to play.

Next journal entry...Accounts payable! Tune in!

Dear diary/ I mean journal, JOURNAL!

Today was a great day. I know this journal entry was going to be about that evil scumbag, coppertopdragon, but he can wait...I have awesome news! I received my first TWO messages from disneygirl today! She was kind of taciturn, it wasn't too emotional, like, it wasn't like "HEY earthbound-fan!!!! Great to hear from you, thanks for watchin my back...now make love to me!!" No, it wasn't like that, but I didn't get a "you're like a brother to me" vibe from her, so it's all good.

Her first message to me was about a certain misconception I had about a disney movie, The Lion King. And no, it's not a movie about her art, I can hear the ED jokes already. No, you see I thought Mufasa was running through he dirt and the letters S-E-X could be seen. But I forgot it was just SFX, it was from the special effects team. She didn't have an explanation for the phallus on the little mermaid cover though.

Her next comment to me(TWO in one day!!!) was about that no good bulldyke, kellyringworm or whatever yucky name she had. Disneygirl is such a wonderful and caring person that she remained friendly and respectful of Kelly even though she totally dissed her. That is class. I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight, I'm so excited about all that's happened today! Today was my first day on DA and I've already made a buncha friends! They're all like, "Earthbound-fan, you rock! You're PSI Rockin'!" Stuff like that. I love it.

Diary...JOURNAL! ...I'll talk to you again tomorrow, maybe later tonight if I can't sleep.

Your pal, Earthbound-fan.

Next Journal entry...Evil coppertopdragon!!! (I promise!)

Dear Journal,
Today is April 26th, 2008 and what a lovely day it is. Last night while reading ED, my usual nightly ritual, I discovered the girl I was meant to marry. Disneygirl. Sigh. I'm a bit smitten. I was supposed to look for a job again today, but, well, that can wait.

The first thing I did was check disneygirl's deviant art page for a response. None as of yet. I'll keep you updated, journal ol' pal. You'll be the first to know. *wink. I then proceeded to play Earthbound for 3 hours. I then took a nap because I was up late thinking of disneygirl. Afterwards, I proceeded to check disneygirl's deviant art page, followed by a rousing game of Earthbound.

Thanks for listening journal.

Next journal entry...Coppertopdragon is evil! Be sure to tune in!